I'm missing you to death...

"This plot can get so confusing.
Oh, if you only knew.
If I could I'll take you with me but I'm here and you're there."
-The Starting Line

It's a weird feeling to realize that the people you were surrounded by not even two months ago...are almost a distant memory. I miss people more than I could have ever imagined. It's a different feeling this summer, it's not I'll see you a couple months. The feeling is now, I don't know when I'll see you next.

It's so easily to take advantage of people that you see everyday. Take advantage the little inside jokes, the unspoken shared feelings, the little things that make friendships worthwhile. It isn't until they are all missing that you feel truly alone.

When it's summer, barely anyone is on a set schedule. At least college graduates aren't for the most part. The people that you knew their schedule down pat...aren't following it. It's harder to get a hold of someone and to keep them on the phone. It's the time of lazy days...

For me, it's the broke days. I wish I could find a job, that way I could actually visit all the friends I miss so much. Thank god for video chat, or I don't know what I'd do with myself. It's at least more personable than staring at a phone and talking to someone.

Life has been different after college. I wish I could say that it's a good different. I'm not quite sure if that's the case though. I've fallen back into old habits and ways. I don't know how to advance myself from here. I want to, no I need to move on in my life. I'm stuck. Being stuck is no fun. I need to move on and be an adult on my own. How do I do that when I can't find a job let alone pay rent right now?

I feel as though i need to literally fall on my ass to pick myself back up.